i'mBelle

ByeBye

2009-11-01T14:13:00.002+08:00

gonna say bye bye to this blog.

cz......
i've shifted to
belle-chia.blogspot.com

i feel like i'm nth

2009-10-23T21:53:00.004+08:00

i think right at the beginning...
i'm already a failure.
because i always plan so far.
and the plans never go how i want them to be.

WHY !

no fancy pictures....
no fancy outings......
my life is so dull
lifeless
damn it i jz feel lik i wanna die.
FUCK THIS SHIT.
i hope i can start everything over again.

Interview

2009-10-17T18:03:00.002+08:00

so i'm very active in finding jobs again.
reason being, i don't think i'm really that capable to run my own business wtf.
the other day i went for an interview with Citibank.
sigh, another chinese speaking work place.
i wonder if it's all fate.
why do all english ppl get to work with english ppl.
and ppl like me would jz have a cina speaking work place ?
i need someone to enlighten my English ma.
hmm, so talking about the interview, that was actually a sales position.
Internet credit card sales.
haih, sales is not my thing, but they said min is up to 3K a month.
quite tempting but u have to talk till your tongue rots everyday ler.
and with very high risk of getting scolded.
becz you would always annoy the hell out of ppl.
not sure if wanna take that job anot.
it's so far eh. and you know the traffic in KL. being stuck in the traffic jam everyday is not funny.

happy deepavali ppl.
arh those art thing is so nice.
i like the color and the blings.
haihz. kinda regretted to go UK eh.
gotta spent so much there, so i'm now very constraint with the spending,
don;t like :(
it's sales everywhere and i can't buy a thing !!
yer !
YER !!!!!
i hate that feeling when i'm broke.
ok citibank mayb i should go to you wtf.
hehehhe....
the reason why i'm updating this blog so often is
yea, firstly damn free.
holiday and my boifrend only knows to sleep !!!! so pissed ar !!!!
he edi slept till 11am today ok. now still sleep.
damn i wan a new boyfriend i mean it ! so sian hokay.
fuck it i'm so annoyed i don't know what exactly i'm pissed of.
secondly,
i'm very in love with this new keyboard.
it's kinda like a macbook's keyboard for desktop heheh
i like i like i like.
that's why i keep on typing with it. hoho.
other day i tried to connect this keyboard to my lappie and do the typing hahaha
yea i'm so addicted liddat.
very stupid indeed.
hehe.
ciao ~
watching cloudy with a change of meatballs tonite !
hope it's nice hehhehe.
3D yo !!

Growing up

2009-10-15T17:32:00.002+08:00

some people said, hey look groing up is not as scary as it seems to be
well others might say, i don't wanna grow up, studying is honeymoon period in everyone life.
i hate to say this, but i'm beginning to see things as how it is right now.
sorry to say this post would be another gloomy Belle's pattern entry yay.

as time passed by, you get to experience with alot of things, and that lessons that you've learned from there, is a process of growing. it's impossible that you have learned nothing.
there is a saying, there is no story not worth listening.
i cannot agree more.
even i've worked a short while in compumed this kinda stupid company, i learned about how to pick the right boss as well.
learned things about labour law, how to protect yourself from wicked HR.
and most importantly, i started to think about responsibility.
think about what and where i want myself to be.
this process is surely tough, and it ain't easy.
for people like me, i would say i'm well protected, in term of you know, economically.
i never need to worry about money.
not saying i come from a wealthy family, but well i manage to get more than i need.
but today, i think i'm kinda contaminated.
as in, i've become so brand conscious.
i feel like, hey i want to get a bag that people could call it by names, and damn i want to get that designer's brand to wear on.
and that's what is way beyond i could afford. and at age of 23, it would be so shameful to get money from dad already.
i wanna make a wish list. by age of 30 i wish i would be making annual income of well "240000K"
muahhahahhahaha.
which is after deducting my luxurious expenses e.g make up, skin care, facial, gym, entertainment, traveling, charity, sponsoring parents to trip etc <3

ok so where am i again ?
oh i'm sorry talking about growing up,
i'm very aware that people around are so ambitious.
so ambitious until i feel that they are making friends with purpose.
like, it's not purely friendship thing anymore.
it frighten me, becz i feel lik i'm very innocent kinda ppl.
mayb i'm obsessed with the boundary thing. crap, like if i called my friends for a date, and i'm not suppose to mention anything about money, or business. that's not right.

ish.
i'm making this so complicated.
what i was trying to say is, i don't like making friends with a purpose.
and i really don't like people who approach other with purpose.
i'm very extreme is these cases
1. i would be very inferior when you don't wish to friend me, cz i would think i'm so worthless.
2. i would be very disgusted by your attitute when i know you wanna friend me for a purpose.

u know what... i'm really a sensitive person.
i used to be so proud, so proud that i'm right in all senses.
but today i regret so much on who i used to be.
now i jz need to get rid of the damn pounds, and get my social network back to life.

How the Hell

2009-10-13T21:30:00.002+08:00

ARH !
hi, been a while since i last updated yea ?
........
........................
..................................
..........................................
well, thought for a while and really, there is nth to be updated.
jz some same old crap that u don't wanna hear me brag abt it.
like seriously.
arh ok la, hey
at least i updated more often then the rest. huhuhu.
lik u know michelletehtiffanysohmingziandvernmay
which then reminds me of... how they are being busy wit work wtf.
i'm so screwed !
bah.

so cute

2009-10-06T16:46:00.003+08:00

arh so cute my new layout <3
hello it's me again !
hahha being quite active lately !
so today Travis Ng went back to UK la, flight at 9 am. i'm gonna see him in 2 months time !
so excited hahaha.
teehee not excited cz i'm gonna see him again, but the trip with ze boifriend ! arh ~
romance here i come.
i told him let's get married in France.
loser, i think this is the n times i proposed to him already.
yea i'm so shameless liddat. yay.
really need to save up for the trip.
hehe
arh talking abt the e-shop, i'm all geared up, but can't launch it yet
becz i have totally no idea how to use that bloody photoshop ouch !
feeling damn noob
trial and error hor, liddat oso doesn't work and it's killing me now !

so i've jz celebrated my 23rd birthday :)
with my beloved friends.
i feel very insignificant to my family cz they nv celebrate birthday for me T____T
thanks to lao ma, chiad, ck, huey syg. they really shined my birthday.
and of cz my dearest bunch of lengs ~ Tiffuhni Sorh, Zizizi, Michelle the zyenn, Vern.
muuah ~ loveeeeeeeeee u all
hehehe.
cake is so lovely !!! i like it so much !
and tadaaaaaaa
very rare, cz i'm posting up picchas !
oh well mayb not, connection too slow edi.
hehehhe.
next time maybe woohoo ~

Missy Nail at One U sucks big time

2009-09-28T13:48:00.002+08:00

hi blog, itz me again.
wanted to blog this and warn everyone not to go there.
so talking abt manicure and pedicure, it has been long that i haven have my fingers and toes done pretty pretty, and i suddenly felt like it. so the boifriend and i randomly went one u and walked in to Missy Nail. the girls were sitting there chatting and no clients were seen when i got in. then i asked if they had free slot to do mani and pedi they looked very reluctant.
like, u wan do then do dun wan den bye that kinda face yay.
fine.
the pedi girl was pissing me off becz for the many years of experience i have nv been instructed to put my legs here and there.
she was literally pad my legs and point to the sink, or to the towel. pad and point. pad and point. apply lotion SIMPLY apply no rub no massage.
wtf. i know i know. but this is so annoying i cannot refrain from using wtf wtf wtf !
super lan si her tone !
name tag there written JANICE.
be warned.
and then it was my mani, which was done by another girl, and she cut my nail bed, and it bleed. ehem. sharp pain i felt.
then she said oh ur skin very thin.
.......................................
for so many times, this was the 1st time i was cut and bleed ! wtf
mahfuhka.
so conclusion,
donch go.

holymolly

2009-09-26T13:29:00.002+08:00

i jz realized i donch know how to make a new post via the new layout T______T
ish, i think i'm super low tech and should jz die in front of the computer yay (refering to my previous post, imma change all the wtfs to yays)
so how is everyone doing lately, it's alright u can ignore this question my social network is so narrow i beleive i have met my whole world last night at soul out yay.
i realize that my English is so deteriorated and it scared the hell out of me so today i decided to write up something in English, hence this post is up. yay.
hmm let's see what could be the content of this lame post
maybe i'll talk abt how to start own business yay ?
i'm becoming a entrepreneur wei
and i'm so stressed and scared. it's not even funny.
imagine the stress.
it's not jz sitting for an exam.
we're talking abt a business, woosh. anyway i still think i'm too green for this, with no experience.
only 4 limbs one fat body and an almost empty brain.
what can i do big ?
haihzzzzz.
zong zi it's not easy.
and the interior designer is seriously making BIG money i tell u.
BIG.
come to think of it, mayb i should jz use that amount of money and get some interior designing cert, then i'll make it big yay.
arh, lately so many ppl getting married.
i wan oso.
but mainly is becz i donch wanna stay at this place.
haihz.
sometimes i feel lik i have tones of u know..dark dark secrets.
i jz am not satisfied with my life now.
yay.
end of this post.
so what did i say at the beginning of the post ? will be talking abt starting own business right ?
yay.

Hi

2009-09-13T15:40:00.004+08:00

As you can see i have a new layout now yay.
I think from now onwards i should change my wtf to yay or wat-so-ever
geez.
it has been almost 2 months that i'm jobless.
feel pretty sad about not having any income.
but i'm planning on doing own business now.
like an e boutique duh.
so ppl who love me, support support k.

With Love,
Belle

Office Hour- Balling boring geddit ? geddit ?

2009-07-09T11:08:00.001+08:00

Not sure if I can access to blogspot in the company. So thought of writing here in Microsoft word 1st.
Working is boring.
Especially you’ve got nothing to do, today is already the 4th day, that I’m without a single thing to do.
Damn ! I wonder why did they hire a ppl for this position.
I wan a better job !
No mood to update already.
So my friends are now on their happy journey, I feel so envious :(
Wanna get my arse there also !
And I need to seriously serious to cut down my weight, I’m so damn over weighted.
Cz I’m eating like a pig in the office, what to do, free ma.
Then when it’s lunch time everyone in the office ajak you for lunch and then you cannot resist the food temptation so you eat a lot and eventually you’ll be expanding, horizontally wtf.
Aiyor ~ I get paid for being bored here !
I don’t like the feeling of not contributing at all wei.
Doing simple task lik the secondary school grad could do

ok so i can update this thing here in company.
i didn't even update for sucha long time and now i have the time to do that here
right in the office
becz i'm so effin bored..........................
omg.
oh side note, i wanna apply for a credit card :(

long lost Me

2009-06-22T22:30:00.002+08:00

Hi, With refer to the tittle above, i'm writing in to bla bla bla bla.
so this is basically what i do everyday.
HR is seriously a pain in the ass. BORING.
and especially difficult for careless ppl lik me T______T
made MINOR, seriuosly minor mistake everyday.
Let ppl scolded almost everyday.
i'm so doomed !!! wtf. it's double sin when your manager is female and tend to be very emotional.
wanted to look into another kind of job next time.
marketing perhaps.
but presentation is not easy too. gosh.
seriously, the longer i live, i stupider i've become.
the lessons i've learned is do not judge from the cover of books.
i picked the pretty office but it's rotten inside.
SIGH. y oh y oh. god u doesn't love me ?!

i've tasted so many dead cats.
seriously hard for ppl lik me.
cz i fought back 100%, but here in office, i can't.
omg.
omfg.
actually i lik working.
because u get paid and and u're financially independent.
wat i dun lik is, i got REALLY lazy when i got home.
i dozed off twice without brushing teeth wei wtf.
slept at 8 and then woke up at 12 to brush teeth and den went back to sleep till next morning !
wat kind of life is this ?
and my room is uber dirty.
super canot tahan.
urgh !!!!
miss the girls.
Vern May if u're reading this.
i think 4 of us will only reunite when u come back from UK wtf.
take care everyone.
rmb my name is Belle ok. wtf.

Today

2009-05-07T18:28:00.002+08:00

today i wake up feeling very lonely.
today i think that life is short why be fat.
today i know i have been judging too much.
today i am nothing and useless as i've always been.

revealing

2009-05-06T13:03:00.002+08:00

i don't know how to give an appropriate tittle.
but today i'm going to talk about girls stuff, camwhore stuff, ineer stuff wtf. so many stuffs.
since the finding of friendster, it has been a heat thing to upload camwhore picture on the internet and so called sharing with friends, actually it's more than the public.
i think girls are scary creature. i seriously think alot of girls are scary tho they appeared to be harmless and sweet and cute and charming u know. but deep down inside, there were so many things running through their heads. u wouldn't know what they are thinking, or what's the intention behind.
this kind of girls appear everywhere, they were so many until ppl like me, with very small/narrow social network got the opportunity to meet with not one, but a few WTF.
i think it's pretty scary when some girls thought they are, really pretty wtf.
and then they think the whole wide world should go like what they wanted to be jz becz they think they are pretty wtf.
ok it's abit vague, lemme explain with examples la, easier to understand...
hmmm, ok like i'm a demanding girlfriend, becz my bf would jz love me and SHOULD buy me everything becz i'm pretty. something lik that la, it might be a shallow example but wat the heck can't think of any better example.
oh i'm quite impressed by those gfs who suck their bfs' money dry and den do not contribute.
sigh.

i hope i do not sound like a hypocrite, becz i admit that i spend quite alot of my bf's money especially on food hoho. but u see i contribute too.
it's like we 4 times we eat out there, i would pay for 1 of the meal.
and ar i would pay for the meal if it was me who brag him to being me there.
sound not fair right. but considering he gets 2K a month, and i only have........... 500 WTF.
and he never need to save when buying pressie to me, hence no advance planning.
me ? i need to squeez brian juice to think of things the need and want, and SAVE money from long long time ago.
i always start saving since november until his birthday in March wtf.
but it's all worth it la. i like his exciting look everytime he gets the surprise.
so now i hope this doesn't sound like a self-defense

ok now i don't know why i suddenly drag to this gf bf issue WTF !!!!!

my main point was suppose to be girls who like to camwhore with their cleavage or very sexual promt pose.

haih. but it can't be jz the tittle and then the sentence above and make the entire post right.
i think this blog has truly reveal what kind of person i am. never stay focus kind wtf.

again, BACK TO THE MAIN POINT.
i super cannot tahan girl who purposely take pic and show their bras and all.
cleavage still ok, as a C cup ppl i understand that sometimes our good sisters wanna come out and absorb abit vitamin D from the sun. and it's ok to show cleavage, but it's not ok when u purposely take picture of urself with revealing bras. it's intended
it's not sexy at all ok.
it's indeed VERY SLUTTY.

not gonna post up picture here i believe u can easily find it online, on ppl's blog, friendste, facebook profile etc etc (ahemcindyfromMDGahem)
haih.
what's ur intention for putting up picture lik that online? showing to the public ?
expect ppl to say wow sexy ? or attract freak like "oh baby u r so hot can i have sex wit u?"
and den u went to ur guy friend and say "yer got ppl wana have sex wit me"
WTF
HAIH
girls like that jz make me wanna slap them and squeeze their boobs until they burst like u know how u squeeze the balloon so hard and they will burst like that.
okie la.
i'm done.
damn free. hope i can get a well pay job asap.

beware, be cautious, be very afraid

2009-05-04T16:26:00.002+08:00

the world is so chaotic now. first it's swine flu, which triggered back in Feb but only taken seriously in April.
now everyone's so afraid, wearing mask when they go out, no longer shake hands becz apparently u can get the germs/virus like that. no hugging. no dining in.
i still not sure what H1N1 is about, only know that it's dead causing virus, symptom is high fever and flu ?
so be careful everyone. wash ur hands, hygiene is very important.
(eh i jz noticed blogspot got MS office feature !!! spelling correction) wuuuuuu

ok, mom jz told me a shocking news, a friend of hers jz got robbed.
she was walking by the roadside after she parked her car at some housing area, and then suddenly blacked out. when she woke up she realized that she had been knocked on the head, fainted on the road side. the left/right side of her body was all scratched, bleeding, head bleeding, probably need stitches... eye swollen. this incident happened very very near my house.
terrible !!!! horrible !!!!
remind me of the snatching incident that i've experienced few years back.
nowhere is safe in Malaysia.
so girls, be very careful.
becz those bastards/jerks/asshole whatever bad names on earth would target on female
becz we r PHYSICALLY weak !!!
dun think u're black belt very geng !! jz be very careful !!
avoid walking by roadside, avoid being alone in public.
train ur lungs, becz u need a bigger lung to scream louder i guess.
sigh. wat the hell is wrong with those ppl !!!!!!!!!
i really hope the government could do something.
besides approving so construction projects that cause bad traffic can.

whoever knows how to pray... pray for the world ok.

very emo Belle.

that's it.

2009-04-28T22:54:00.002+08:00

so that's it. i'm done with everything.
don't want anymore interception. pray pray pray everything goes well.
am looking for a job now :(
i really miss the girls. i miss the time when we all get together laughing at each other.
those were the days :(
very free now, stay at home forever (rawang is considered as my 2nd home).
i'm such a boring person !!!! friends working already.
thesis defense didn't go to well i guess.
didn't really present anything. they were asking so much questions and yea, tho i manage to answer, they didn't seem to satisfy with it. wuhuhuhu. i was so nervous until i begin to sweat in air con room, and need to wipe away sweat on my forehead.
that was how nervous i am.
but i can never feel so relieve after the defense. pheeew ~
duno what to work as. very fan !!!!!
officially hunting for a job now, wanted to start on May, duno if it's possible.
awww.... my resume doesn't seem too attractive oso. sigh.
hope Vern enjoys her UK trip, and it seems like everyone is going to UK too hahahha
right, hope they could suggest places to visit to after they came back
as i am also going by the end of the year ! can't wait !!!
only problem now is pounds, the currency seems to be increasing, but alot of rumour saying UK bank is going a really rough time and going to bankrupt anytime soon.
if lik dat the pounds, the money would have become plain paper wei.
sigh.
so fan.
wtf.
i find that my entry has never have any proper ending.
today i shall end this post by saying the end. WTF.
the end.

ish

2009-04-21T21:22:00.002+08:00

life cannot be happier without college. at least for now. hehe.
thesis due, final's over, upcoming is the defense.
but i can't feel more relieve.
oooh, life.
tmr vern flying to UK, hereby, wish her sun sun lei lei, have a nice and safe trip :)
everyone's doing their own things, and i'm looking for a well paid job
bcz i'm in need of $$$.
arh, life.
overheard some kids' conversation the other day
"the teacher very good one, let us play in her class"
"wa my teacher better lo ! she even allow psp"
wtf ?
ahahhahahhahhahhaha but bring back alot of school time memory...
thinking back of the old times really makes me wanna go back even more.
just when i am about to finish uni, suddenly i miss my girls so much so much.
wish those times we've spent together, the jokes, the class replacements.
the assignments, how we encourage each other and how we look at each others' stress look
how we have small fights over projects.
oooh i just miss those days.
becz it's over, and it would never come back.......
all i can think about now is to maintain the friendship.
hope that we won't change to much, if do, to a better self i hope :)
good luck everyone.

with love :)

fate

2009-04-07T00:31:00.003+08:00

i think this should make a really good research topic.
but it's not science.
it's hard, if not impossible to measure, to compare, to make hypothesis, to validate to test the realiabilty so on and so forth.
i might use meta analysis, but that could drive you nuts becauce u will then have no idea of what am i trying to say.
....
sometimes, i feel that when it's not meant to be then it's not.
i think i'm a creepy creature.
i am made up of money. but seriously, without money, how can one survive right.
even if you wanted to plant vege or feed chicken on your own, you would need money to buy soil, to buy fertiliser and so on right.
now i gotta admit i calculate too much. i'm too calculative, and i'm too busybody.
it's so hard to live a happy life like me.
by chance, i visited a blog of an old friend of mine, we lost contact for years, and we are no longer friends.
and her bf treated her very well i would say.
sometimes i would think, becasue i have the strong urge to see beautiful things
and i can't be with someone whom i do not like their physical appearance... i lost chances.
i let go some guys that i might love to spend my whole life with.
i got togehter wth my current bf becasue i adore his face. i'm serious, i even thick skin enough to be friended him when he had a gf back then.
sigh.
i duno, i believe in karma one.
i love new experience, i love surprises i love to try out new things and i like people who are innovative and have vision for future.
i duno how come i never met any friends that could become my BFF..
i started to think it's my problem.
no one is perfect i know.
but i believe that some people could just click so well that they can become BFF
when they have arguements they could talk about it not feeling offensive and defensive.
i am so tired in maintaining friendship.
because i feel that when i disclose too much, people tend to step over the boundary
they do not self-reflect. and i hate that feeling.
i begin to dislike them.
because i think they are wrong and i know they can't take opinion.
they would cry and say i'm mean.
that's how i would feel after sometime when i got really close with someone.
thinking back i really didn't have much close girl friends.
i'm sucha failure.
or my perception is wrong....
close friends don't need to disclose that much to each other
i don't know.
i'm so contradicting i'm afraid i'm gonna be crazy someday.
this is a free flow writing so i'm not thinking appropriately, so do not feel offensive i'm not talking about anyone, i'm jz talking about myself.
and seriously, i love the feeling of being pampered too.

Gerard

2009-03-24T20:40:00.002+08:00

omg. i'm. so. DEAD.
HOW COME... i tot he left already ?
sei lor.
i still rmb once i went into his office and had this kinda defense with him for PSY303.
and i DIDN"T understand a single questions he asked.
OMG.
ok i give up the 5%.
but i'm so gonne stoned there for 20 minutes.
i know ppl here might be thinking what the crap i'm talking about.
yes, it's the ultimate scary thesis defense.
mine is fallen on the 24th of April.
ngam ngam after Tiffany's soh ultimate big day. wuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu.
i so wanna cry.
can u pls spare a birthday wish for me huh tiffany soh xiao jie hahahahhahaha.
omg i'm so freaked out !!!!!!!!
and i haven collected back all the questionnaires. ARH.
sei liao. byebye.

your friendly blogger

2009-03-16T23:26:00.002+08:00

hello here i am again. bragging about boredom.
hhehehehe in this post. imma not gonna sigh. ok. imma replace with hehe huhu or wuwu. wtf.
becz sigh is not a good word. imma think positively. imma be optimistic.
huhu.
so boring.
only start running research for thesis tmr.
will it be too late?
oh blame it on ERB ok. i damn scare i can't finish it in time.
i have around one month time.
huhu.
i need some help.
no, i need alot of help.
to complete my discussion.
those who love me and know how to do, come offer me some help.
sprinkle me wit love wtf.

another pointless post.
can tell i'm plain bored right.
huhu. wuwuwuwuwuwuwuwu.

sometimes

2009-03-07T16:39:00.002+08:00

sometimes i really hope ERB consists of all sleepy heads so they won't reject my proposal wtf.
yes.
my ERB is being rejected again. bah. but nvm. i've come to a solution.
so it'll be fine !!!!!!! (i hope wtf) arh... wanna cry already.
if it doesn't den i won't be able to complete thesis so whoever it is up there. pls hear my prayer.
emo emo emo emo emo emo emo

***
sad story aside. and i've got nth else to talk abt SIGH
SO SIAN ONE.
long time never make up and go out already.
arh !!!!!

Advertorial ?

2009-03-04T21:23:00.002+08:00

sigh. no this is not an advertorial post. jz some humble opinions on blog advertising tactics.
seriously, i doubt if it works lo.
i think i might make a good stalker la. cz i do check out blogs alot. like from ppl that i know (no, acutally it's ppl that i'm INTERESTED in) to strangers. i read a lot of blogs and i found it rather funny when i saw the blogger in real life.
like how ar, the feeling very hard to describe, like i've been stalking that person, and he/she doesn't know me. i feel disgusted with myself actually hahahhaha. but damn i'm so bored i jz gotta do it.
so, back to the main point. advertorial.
amang all the blogger, i particularly hate Cindy from MDG season 1.
she is TooOooo vain. e.g. posting up picture of hers in bras. zong ji very vain la.
i dun like it. she's not hot lo, to me la. she's jz a hot chic wannabe. to me la wtf.
am not gonna link her here. becz, i duno how to WTF !!!!!
omg. i'm reeeeeleee low tech lo.
ok so those bloggers took alot of vain pictures and den consider that as advertorial ?
i'm not convinced lo.
they jz low graded the product wtf.
and den they got paid for it. can anyone tell the company that it's not gonna work ?
look at how they write abt the product.
"OMG LOOK AT THE PHONE IT"S SO COOL."
hmm.... so ?
for a few of your bikini pics den i'm gonna buy it so i can be like you already ?
sigh.
now the economics not good, dun simply pour money lik dat can ?
it's not gonna work.
watever that i've seen in blog advertorial.
I AM NOT GONNA FUCKING BUY IT.
OKAY ?

on the other hand.
they can blog more abt experience. like some traveling tips, nice cozy restaurants.
and all, that i would read, and i find it A LOT MORE useful and not to say convincing comparing to stupid blog ads that hard sell product like a bloody handphone lo.
so many vain pics ONLY wtf.
sianz can.

ok end of story.

and i'm into business now.
eh i do facial for ppl, i think it's quite cheap la RM30 for one hour PAMPERING treatment wtf.
ok hard sell already.
eh support abit wtf. i got no vain pictures here ok.
thank u the very much.

oh oh oh oh oh, thought of becoming famous blogger right
so firstly i have to have a few criteria
1. look hot- cz gonna have a lot vain pictures
2. miang enough- cz need to pose for vain pictures
3. vain- cz u see the main thing is becoming vain
4. creative- need to think really hard how to be vain
5. crapping- vain not enough must be funny and mean and bitch
6. good in english wtf- so make vain not too obvious and then everyone hates u
7. good with web designing

and i fail for all mention above WTF.
ok la so i decided to blog for boredom only la.
good day everyone.
rmb to do facial ok. WTF i'm so ANNOYING.

18SG: Fuck permission

2009-02-26T13:33:00.003+08:00

sorry for the french.
but i really hate it lo. i'm so pissed i've been sending emails to Caryl Rusbult asking for permission to use her questionaire and i get no reply. HOW MANY MONTHS ALREADY WTF.
so now how i have to change to another set of questionaire izit.
my lit review did nice nice edi and now i have to change half of it la izit arh !!! i hate u !!!!!
u ruined my life !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wtf wtf.
damn pissed.
i really hate erb lo. i will never let myself get into the field of psychology anymore.
pls !!! i swear every night it gives me nightmare lo.
haihz.
eh nowadays i'm so into blogging i duno why muahhaha perhaps i'm so bored at home and i have nth better to do. lifeless uni student wtf !!! i would be so regret for wasting my youth like that i swear.
this morning i thought of some interesting topic to blog abt one but i forgot what izit.
so nevermind that.

that aside, i think i need a new labtop. laptop ?
wtf !!!! i should have work harder to practice my spelling already damn sad can.
i think it's infected with virus but my expired pc-cilin can't detect the bloody new virus.
whahahha too kiam siap to spend on anti virus.
especially for IE, when i tried to open a new tab, den it would jz close down itself.
poof. just like that.
everyhting that i'm viewing, gone.
WITHOUT ASKING FOR MY PERMISSION
@(*$#*)$*)(Q*#($#*
damn which ever it is.
arh !!!!!!!!
eh HP had been working with Vivienne Tam (some famous Fashion Designiner) and just launched a new one laptop, small, and it's RED WTF !!!
i think it's a combinition of fashion and gadget something lik that la.
i wan it :(
my labtop is so slow
i think it's daring me to kill it. wtf.
i shall grant your wish someday.

COOL NAME

2009-02-23T17:15:00.003+08:00

wa i realized that nowadays ppl like to give themselves TWO freaking names so that that would sound cool.
erm erm like....
Susan Ivy Lim Dong Dong wtf.
at my generation, ppl only tried to get one christian name to be cool.
like Christina Lim. If your name is Lim Zing Zing, hmm not cool. Christina Lim, WOW. wtf.
BUT NOW.
Christina, so what.
Christine Christina only sounds cool wtf !!!!

so i tot of "be-cool-ed" ppl around me.
Tiffany Soh becomes.... Tiffany Tifa Soh WTF AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH
i have a fetish for names that begin with same alphabert. and i duno how to spell alphebert.
someone corrects me thank you so much wtf.
Ong Zi Zi doens't have a christian name. HOW CAN U R NOT COOL AT ALL WTF AHHAHAHHAHAHAH I KNOW U"RE GONNA KILL ME, BUT NO REALLY I THINK MING ZI IS SUCH A SWEET NAME
but jz to becooled you, i pseudo name you McDonald McZi wtf wa !!!!!
Michelle erm erm HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH suddenly tot of the MIchelle Ba zi Bai Zhu Yenn WTF SO CUTE THE NAME.
erm .....
Vern May
oh she has so many names.
so i would combine both, Kimchi Shy Ng. wtf.

den my self.
Belle.
Belle Belinda Chia wtf.

ok i take back my words la,
having 2 names are not cool at all wtf.
can't you tell i'm BORED !?!!!!!
yeah gathering later !!!!!!! if i look pretty i might upload rare pictures here in this stupid blog.
a ta ta bye a. WTF CAN U TELL I"M TRYING TO SOUND COOL WTF
i'm so annoying.

uncertainties

2009-02-22T12:16:00.002+08:00

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

realized that i always talk abt emo emo stuff here.

so tot of beginning of haha and then continue with emo stuff wtf.

ok la, i admit i'm an emo bitch.

today i'm here to talk abt uncetainties.

uncertainties exist when you don't have control over everything that revolves around you.

i think.

uncertainties there are, becasue there is always a *shit forgot what i wanted to say because jz answered a phone call w tf*

nevermind that

conclusion is, nothing is impossible.

be surprised ok.

the locus of control stresses ppl.

why would ppl be stressed when they are preparing to sit for examination.

because they are worrying don't know what questions are coming out, they have no control over it. sadly, TO ME LA, even the lecturer gave tips, it's worries me more because then there would be higher expectation. wtf wtf. damn annoying.

so i think interpersonal relationship also stresses people alot, becasue we have no control over it.

we can't control what ppl think about you.

we can't control the hatred, the likable that we have towards people.

jz lik how i hate the big mouth WTF !!!!

i damn scare got karma now, becz i keep being sarcastic abt ppl's big mouth, so i would have son'daughter with SUPER BIG MOUTH or my mouth grows bigger each day without me realizing it. so when one morning i wake up and look into the mirror and eh can't recognize myself.

omg sorry baby mama really sorry u wtf *ma ma dui lei ng zu* WTF

so the other day when i was glancing through facebook, this big mouth (ok, i will never say BIG MOUTH AFTER THIS but to replace with BM la WTF WTF).

has pictures of everyone which were taken the other day when we hang out.

note that we didn't hang out often because I DON"T LIKE HER. no i hate her, to be exact.

because i simply don't like her behavior attitute personalities charateristic and her mouth WTF.

in short, she is disgusting to me la.

omg i hope she reads this.

and her english is so sad even i would forwn reading it

e,g: how do you describe food which are nice, TASTY MA SO SIMPLE HELLO EVEN A 3 YEARS OLD KNOWS. she wrote there: wa, super taste a.

sigh.

i'm sorry because i hate you.

ok la i know i have no right to laugh at this kinda thing bcz i'm not good myself.

but wat the heck because i hate you la.

omg.

eh WTF WHY DID I DRAG TILL SO FAR AWAY.

the main point is, she uploaded pictures ALMOST immediately after the outing.

which included 2 couple picturs of myself and the other friends' (hope i didn't make it too complicated) obviously i saw those pics la k.

and then jz right after la, i thick face uploaded an album of myself and boi' (in love again)

the couple picture of mine was gone !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

deleted.

jz like shit being flushed !!!!!

and then the other friends' couple pic is still there.

coincident or what ?

hahahahahhahahahah sigh.

omg, now i know, someone who has a BM doesn't mean would have a big heart WTF.

yeah ok at least i shared something interesting here today wtf a new beginning.

hmm... i find that i'm quite good at entertaining myself.

sigh so sad.

ok ok bye bye

i miss everyone.

ok i know only zizi and tiffany read this la.

random thoughts.

2009-02-20T21:38:00.002+08:00

Today at group counseling they talked about relationship. romantic relationship of course
but bothers youngster most now huh.
sometimes i'm really amused by young generation, frankly, i think i'm not at that age anymore.
i feel... old.
i don't have the urge to impress ppl of opposite gender/sex.
so that explains my weight gain wtf. self-defense mechanical.
due to confedentiality, i won't disclose the detail that we have talked about,
but the topic itself is very complicated thing.
break up is undeniable very heart-breaking, but life goes on.
i know i'm tlaking like it's easy, but hey i've gone through that too.
but i didn't share a single bit about my story, not because i'm not comfortable of sharing it, just that i really feel it's not necessary.
everyone has a different experience, but after all, only you can help youself.
that's the most important thing.
my experience of breaking up is, i tended to self-pity alot.
i think oh that was the end of the world i jz got dumped by the guy i loved,
when i didn't even know what love is.
it's not jz hugging kissing cuddling buying present kinda thing.
it surely is more in-depth. and i'm sure one will not understand it until they grow up.
i blame it on the slow development of some RANDOM brain neurons wtf.

the point is, people often think that they need help from others when they break up.
they need alot of companion to talk about how sad they are
how terrible the guy was
how they wanted to patch back
how things might work out if they were bla bla bla.
ooh.
if you don't allot yourself to let it go.
it will haunt you forever.
it's painful
but the pain is not forever. imagine, if you were with the wrong guy,
then in the future he would be torturing you until the end of the day wtf.

aiya, duno la, why am i talking all these things here.
jz duno whom to talk to maybe. haha.
oh dear dairy wtf !!!!!
so pathetic one !!!!!!!!!!!!
bye.

hello i'm not dead.

2009-02-15T23:20:00.002+08:00

yes i'm back. i know. not like anyone is expecting for my update.
jz some blabbling before i go crazy again.
mid term is coming, i'm slacking so seriously it's not even funny.
omg.
i think after this degree, i really really really don't wanna involve in assignments, APA and citations anymore. gosh. it shakens me just by thinking abt it.
i know
in less than 2 months time everything's gonna come to an end.
but i'm so addicted to psp nowadays it's not even funny.
i feel so left out.
all i did were, eat and den lying there playing psp.
so u can imagine i'm getting fatter as days passed by.
haih.
to conclude my life.
it sucks.
i really need to get out of it.
i need some positive power.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg.
i seriously need help.

diet

2009-02-06T14:22:00.001+08:00

i'm in an extreme need to lose like 10 Kgs.
but i'm craving for maggi mee.
wtf.
ARH !!!!!!!!!!
FOOD HERE I COME.
OH no wait i can't.
OH why am i drooling one.
OH hey arh looks so delicious.
Oh arh wtf imma kill myself. !!!!!!!

Regards from Penang :)

2009-01-30T02:43:00.002+08:00

tee hee, sometimes when you online at a different place updating blog at a different place
it would be a total different feeling yo.
I'm now in penang !!!!!!!
gahahhaa.... hotel is FANTASTIC
rasa sayang i will miss you.
i believe won't be coming back anytime soon, too expensive tsk tsk.
summore the safety guard damn racist, if you were asian, then they would check your room number and all one, "excuse me are you outsider or customer"
lik wtf. if we were guai lou i'm sure they won't be like that one lor.
becz according to my boi, shangri-la in penang got 2 branches one,
golden sand and rasa sayang, the latter one is meant for foreigners.
wa, i duno if who is trying to impress who, but the atmosphere is freaking owesome.
i'm not exaggerating i tell you hoho !!!
this trip is more fun than i've expected ler, duno y. haha.
ok off to go.
hope everyone has a wonderful time too
muuah ~

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR

2009-01-27T22:37:00.002+08:00

:) i hereby wishing everyone happy chinese new year.
may the economic turns better. everyone stays healthy. be happy.
and i want a brand new me :)
hohoho. this is considered a special year to me, being alone in college, CNY never go back to Johor and visit grandma. huhu. cz seriously lazy to travel so far.
Travis came back from UK and brought me something that i heart till faint :) AWWW.. thanks dude !!! *greatful contented smile wee*
can you see how happy i am ?
i'm blessed. so blessed.
so now all i need is more friends wtf. HAHAHAHHAA.
this year ang pao's kinda suk sui edi.
especially from parents, it's a 50% slashed comparing to last year's eh.
but nvm, it's edi alot compare to many ppl :)
thanks mom dad ~
hope this year would be a less tougher year for you...
stay healthy forever ok.
have a feeling that the relationship with my family is getting better and stronger.
like that feeling :) belongingness. u see :)

today my boi asked:" do you wanna stay in Banglow or double-storey?"
i asked back "if you have shark fin would you still eat glassnoodle (fake fin)?"
oh i'm not that materialistic right ? i'm juz realistic HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
defensive hoho.

Penang tomorrow !! positive thinking wtf !!! it's gonna be fun fun fun !!!!!! yeah
so happy gonna stay in renovated hotel which smells new !! wu hoo ~
am i not the luckiest woman in the world ?!
thank whoever it is :)

ok, so this post is damn random, suddenly this and that, it's becasue everytime when i blog, i dun have anything specific in mind, it's... you know, like some sort of free flow.
and i din mean to show off la. jz to note down how i'm feeling and in the future and flash back and think...wa.................................. last time....... wa........
or something like today in history wtf hahahahhaha. ok i'm done.

everyone gamble win lot lot ya :)

ever the same

2009-01-08T18:37:00.001+08:00

some people just never seem to grow.
some people just never seem to stop buying.
some people just never stop judging.
some people, just like myself.

hey there

2008-12-30T22:02:00.002+08:00

i'm bored...
how come i have nth better to do.
even fashion magazine seems so tasteless to me.
aww the other day spotted a pair of flats in Zara. sigh. 189.90 ? u tell me do i look like i have cash full until it fall out from my pocket ?
but i LIKE IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok ! i like it i like it i like it. feel damn empty for few days edi cause didn't buy em.
and den anohter pair of heels in Vincci+ .... the same price.
sigh. ok forget abt it.
i have so many items in my shopping list !
how .... even millionaire would be shocked of how much i wanted to spend wtf.
duno where to goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
shopping becomes so boring when u dont' have enough cash wtf wtf wtf.
punch self.
ok basically college starting new week and i seriously dun feel lik registering yish.
ambitious abit belle embitious wtf !!!!

merrry christmas

2008-12-25T16:11:00.002+08:00

merry chirstmas everyone !
wu ! can't believe time flies ! last year i was in penang, still with that slimmer body.
this year, i'm stucked in this not to say big or smal room in rawang, bored to death, hp battery dies... and with that uber overweight body. sigh. how can people change so much you tell me ahhahahahha
this year christmas didn't really give me much special feeling.
it juz made me realized how many friends i've lost contact with.
last years, they would stil text me... awww.... but not anymore :(
yea i agree i'm the one to blame.
you can say that i'm calculative, but when you have friends that always take advantages of you.
that's realy sick.
from there i learn to protect myself :)
or many i'm transforming into an aunty so sacrifices only meant for family but no longer for friends?
heheheh but occasionally helping of coz i would be more than happy to do.
i really hate myself for feeling dissatisfied over so many people !!!!!!!!
omg !!!!
if this situation continue, imma commit suicide wtf.

passion

2008-12-18T17:00:00.002+08:00

everything started off with a passion. right ?

without a passion, you wouldn't even wanna look at it, not to say to do it.

but what do you do when the passion deteriorate. or worse, gone?

emo emo emo emo emo.

bah.

so now everyone has graduated, it juz me damn.
i enrolled earlier. and ended later wtf is this.
why am i slower in everything.
so there they are... leaving already.
i feel that we are so close yet so far.
something is missing i duno.
mayb i juz didn't mix too well with them.
i'm still me, insignificant.
when i feel sad for them leaving and heading to different directions already...
well... people juz dun mind, dun care.
sigh belle.

fate ?

2008-12-12T01:48:00.004+08:00

wow, over a month i haven updated this pity bloggie.
so why am i here blogging while i'm suppose to be sleeping.
insomnia.
sigh.
sianess.
i have so much thoughts to share, but i duno how to make them into words.
i have so much regrets in life that i duno how to patch up
sigh i'm so complicated.

haih

2008-11-08T15:29:00.002+08:00

SO SIAN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
din bring laptop here, doing nth wasting my time !!!!!!!!!!!
arhhhhhhhhhhh
so sian !!!
ok so lately, i'm so f' addicted to online shopping.
i duno.
i think i'm trying to escape from something.
sigh.
thesis. assignemtns.
i duno.
i think i'm gonna chi sin edi.

getting married !!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-11-06T09:59:00.002+08:00

HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHH

........ not me.
sigh, so nice one, i know this girl through her ex boyfriend.
which is an extreme jerk (the guy)
and then she met someone new
heard so many things about how she was still not over her ex and so.
but today, oh no mayb yesterday mayb the day before yesterday, she is engaged.
her current proposed to her.
sigh.
so sweet can.
jealous till my eye balls gonna pop out lik dat.
i have been anticipating for so long but never my turn.
she broke up and then met someone new edi. and now engaged.
sigh.
so lucky.
i know i would never have such luck in my life.

yer emo for the whole day edi.
duno y oso.
inferior gua.
sigh feeling so somplicated can't even tell how exactly i'm feeling.

anyway, congratulation yo, feel happy for you :)

learning

2008-11-03T12:32:00.002+08:00

i personally think i'm a fast learner
but i learned fast, and i forget fast.
unless it's very traumatic or severe problem.
the thing is, today i'm going to blog in proper english, with correct grammar and spelling.
so,
talking about learning, and being a fast lerning, most of the time i would like to think about the hiding message of every single things that have been happening around me.
by saying often, i mean that, most of the time that i am aware of.

from these 22 years, i really think i have changed alot.
i used to be a very unlikable kid, seriously bad temper, unthoughtful, princessy.
mom, i pity you for having me as your daughter :(
and i'm truly sorry.

princessy continued until i was 12 years old, so i barely have good memory during primary school.
and i would not want to meet them back.
i would not want to have gathering with them
i cannot forget how those teachers favorism towards those "good-looking" student, those daughter/son of the school teacher.
it's so bad.
they sang so badly, yet was always won prizes in competition.
but my parents never taught me about to behave/ to deal with people out there.
my mom only canned me, and then i cried, and then i hated her.
that's it.

then i started to become a real sweet pie.
i brought cakes to school for my friends.
i bought real expensive dessert for them, with my own pocket money.
so i was an idiot.
besides thank you. besides the instant smile.
what else did i get?
yes, Belle is a sweetheart.
but i was so fat, guys discriminated me.
pretty girls thought i should exist to enhance their beauty.
haha.
yes that makes me a pesimistic.
quoted a girl who thought i couldn't hear her "yer, why she so ugly one."
today, i'm prettier than you.
inside out :)

but then i realized that was not what i want.
why bothering to become a sweetheart when i get nothing?
so i only entertain people whom i like, and who like me back.
friendship is a mutual thing.
bear in mind.
a single fight can ruin the friendship, don't bother saving it.
because you know, it doens't worth it.
nothing can go on forever without conflict.
but when i found my true self.
i become fat again.

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA.
eh this is suppose to be a seriously post.
but then don't know why i found it hilarious.
:)
today i know how important friendship is.
it's the pleasure i could never experience with the boyfriend.
it's freedom.
it's craziness :)
it's sweetness.
it's challenge.
please cherish me like the way i do.
please don't hesitate to date me becasue i have a boyfriend.
why didn't i date them 1st, becasue someone used to say, yea becasue your boyfriend isn't free.
so here we are.

and i was so embarrassed.

i need someone who understands me.

with love.

i have been eating alot

2008-10-31T00:45:00.002+08:00

seriously.
worse part, eating alot of outside food.
i think since i pakto with william, i have been eating alot of outside food.
so getting fatter and fatter !!!
this is bad
this is so bad
slowly, i must cut off chips, must cut off ice cream, choclate.
den fried food.
sigh.
might as well ask me go die.
ok should try very best to avoid eating outside food.

my addiction

2008-10-23T14:35:00.002+08:00

because the boyfriend is very addicted to nicotine.
and i'm very addicted to ice cream and chocolate.
in order to strengten the determination for him to quit.
i hereby promise that i will never ever touch ice cream and chocolate ever.
if i manage to do so, i don't care, Ng Wil Liam you shall stop smoking again.
that's a really big sacrifaction ok. ask vern may wtf.

i'm really materialistic

2008-10-22T21:41:00.003+08:00

so how. i'm so spoilt since young so how.
my dad bought me every barbie doll i wanted.
never failed.
dad u spoilt me.
but i know u were forced to. because i know how i had cried and stumped foot for it.
i really ashamed of myself.
but now i've changed.
because i am so irritated by my own behavior.
but i still get watever i want, even those that i din plan to own.
thank you so much dad i love you.
though it took so many years for me to be mature.
and i'm sorry i grown up so late.
thank you for providing all those luxuries.
i know there are alot of ppl who have more.
and i won't deny i have red eyes. but i already have more than others.
i can't complain anymore.
i love you dad.
and i love you too mom.
sory for those harsh time i've given you.
but i realized over these years our relationship has improved.
and i hope it won't go backwards.
i will still learn to grow.
with love from you.

i hope you will read this.
because it's impossible for me to tell you face to face.
i am used to being strong in front of u.
that's y i don't tell you alot of stuff.
i dun wan you to worry abt me.
i dun wanna show you my weak side.
i am your daughter, whom you never need to worry about.
except the money spending part la ha wtf.
but i'm really in dilemma.
i have my moment. and for a period of time i really feel lik giving up everyhting.
dat's y u see i'm so fat now, i'm a stress eater.
i duno la.
i feel so fan now bye.

my bad

2008-10-22T21:32:00.002+08:00

ok so i haven been updating for sometimes... not like anyone cares la...
but i'm just pretending there are alot ppl out there dying to see me updating my blog wtf sigh.
ok so i have been very very very procastinating.
which is really bad sigh.
did pretty bad for 302... it's suppose to be an easy test wasn't it?
i tot i knew most of the answers wtf !
no luck maybe.... missed my acedemic performance during my early 11 years of education !
used to be really really good one...
guess god exchanged something for me...
when i was really fugly, HE gave me smart brain and good result...
when i fought for beuty... HE exchanged it with my good result edi wtf wtf wtf
AHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH
am i really good at this kinda karma thing or wat
but nvm la..... enough to pass la.... ok.... if it's above average then good lo wtf
really wanna do it well one i'm serious.
this time i really study damn hard tho it's last minute again, but i feel how i concentrated i swear i changed wtf
soooooooooo
guess i've been so emotionally aroused lately.
being in a relationship is seriously with pros and cons lo.
i wish i have realy healthy relationship la.
but since the begining i edi built up really bad habit.
i spoilt my boifriend i guess.
karma !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
aih.
being too tolerance.
being too sweet.
being too fake wtf.
regret edi. should i end this and go seek for another one.
u know habit is really hard to be changed right, so find another one den start over again
since i learned the lesson edi lor hor
i seriously dun feel happy when i see him or get his call already.
i need some respect. don't care if it's childish.
full stop.

addicted to typing !

2008-10-14T17:35:00.003+08:00

hello, all of a sudden i'm addicted to typing !
i'm so lack of sleep yet yet yet still here updating my blog, during the time of the semester.
hoho i had abit of gin and i'm abit of the blur now, boohooo why am i such a lousy drinker !
literally abit lo...................... i think 5 ml only ? wtf ?
red lik red color wtf HAHAHHAAH
oh been doing charity lately wtf.....giving away cosmestic before they expired !!!!
so girls..... must use very often ok. !!! expensive one a !!!!!
since i never use it...... so give it to someone who does lo right.
but i damn pin sam one... only give to those i love lo ok.
actually i really damn kiam siap one...i won't cin cai give things to ppl...
unless those i love.
i think i grow up thinking that love or hate, must have a very obvious boundary.
really.
i damn bias one lo seriously.
wa ! my whole body turn red no kidding !!!!!!! allergic ar ? dun ler......i love gin !!!!!!!!
hmmmmmmmm.... so har..... the other day my Beiber soh said she wanna save money eh, dun wanna spend on clothes edi !
ahhahahahhahahhahahahhaha i had the determination oso when i just came back from hk
but den now i have shopping urge edi
i need to shop for new bras..... panties ........ leggings !hohohoho.
shoes oso !!! am looking for killer heels !!!!!!! wtf wtf
how la lik dat huh.
damn broke edi ok.
sigh nvm buy vincci/nose. sigh. spotted a really nice heels at Nose, hope it's still there
the best if got sale wtf !!!! hahahahhahahahha
man ....... i really miss shopping in HK ...... sigh
but den no won't go there in a short while la.......... lik wat william said, use the air fare and hotel's money to shop in malaysia more worth it right.
got point !
but things in HK are nicerrrrrrrr how !!!!!!!! they do shipping anot ?
i love forever 21 websites !!!!!! omfg so pretty !!!!

oh ok ...... a total non related thing, i bought a mineral powder from some blog the other day
selling at dirt cheap pric, i never tested den quckly order scared out of stock wtf lik damn rich.
but den the color doens't suit me................. booohoooo tot wasted money edi one
but den the very kind blogger let me do exchange yeah ! when i was still happily thinking how lucky i was......... i noticed the expired date at the bottom of the powder box !
JANUARY of 2009 !!!
wtf ?
hey yo you see i got this powder only middle of september lo ok !
so now i can ask for ful refund ! but den blogger never reply the address
they said they were sorry that kinda thing, but den they also revealed that the supplier was some famous blogger (the one who like CHEESE very much and den funnily participated in some duno where dream girl contest one) so there is very lil they could do. sigh. rugi ler them.
but dun care jz give back my money so that i can buy bra wtf !
ok i damn blur edi bye bye.

back and tanned

2008-10-06T21:00:00.002+08:00

HELLO EVERYONE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
deng deng deng ~
i'm back from HONG KONG
sigh, broke and contented.
SHOPPING THERE IS FUN and FUN and FUN
u see everything is so pretty
everything is nice
everything is nowhere in KL u can find
and i bought so many things, never in my life i spent so much on shopping in a few days only.
WTF I'm SO sinfully happy !!!!!!
and den so many works awaiting. sian. blog abt wat i've bought if i feel lik it la.
but i think u all will be damn shocked so i think better don't wtf.
ok do resume wtf bye bye.

i have a confession to make

2008-09-27T09:18:00.005+08:00

today...... is the day. i'm gonna reveal my darkest secret of all......
u all might hate me since this post onwards... but i dun care really.
i need someone to spank me on the face and tell me.... ENOUGH U BITCH.
i have been thinking to blog about this long ........ long time ago.

but i have no courage.

i'm scared.

i iz scareeedddd.

so it started lik this..................

4 years ago, when i have already finished my SPM and blurly went to Taylor's school of so many hot chicks and studied A level.
i inferior........
cz they all so pandai make up, dress up so nice. hair long long.

aww i like.

so i started so many things.

i started to get to know so many brands, i din even know LV dat time ok.

wat is LV ?! huh.... din know ~ damn innocent. hehehhe no la sua ku la....

din know roxy din know quick silver.

i think my best shirt is body gloove which is still cheap dat time, den the other brand is that u nv heard of.

and den i started up skin care. wa.... damn fatt hao.

and den .... later............. it's make up.

my 1st..... 1st make up is a concealer and a mascara dot com.

no more, cz my skin ar, damn perfect. mind u, i used DAMN PERFECT !!!!

so i din need foundation and all.

hehehehehhe i still using the concealer wei but mascara edi disposed long time ago

cz damn stupid, lsiten to pro saying, MASCARA MAXIMUM keep for 3 months !!

so used abit den disposed edi. sigh. u know dat time i edi know estee lauder mascara ok, damn expensive, i think 80 buskcs a. sigh. but now even more expensive !!!!! siao. so i planned to shift to maybeline. but duno y those brands blinded me, den i used dior, den anna sui's, KOSE oso... all very expensive, 90 and above ok. so u count la, how much i've spent on mascara. sigh.

ok ok then ................... the nightmare comes........

over these years, i NOW have 7 eyeliners

8 cheeks color

OVER 15 different shades of gloss and lipstick

24 eyeshadows color.

3 foundations.

2 loose powder

i really cannot count how much i've spend on em.

i sin.

bought all...and barely use em. sigh.

so now here comes good deal !!!!

- estee lauder color platte 6 eyes color and 2 cheek color
- estee lauder eye shadow platte, 8 pretty eye shadow color and 1 old cheek color (i dun lik it, nv use) plus one box with mirror dat allows u to bring 3 pairs of matched eye shadow whenever u want to !!!
- 1 estee lauder sweet pink lip stick

goods above are in extreme good condition (as new) used once ONLY !

that's not all !!! still got

- 4 estee lauder make up brush (blusher brish, 2 eye shadow brush, 1 lip brush) (WHOLE NEW)
- 1 laura mercier lip gloss (WHOLE NEW)
- 1 clarins cute pink cream blusher (used several times but still in good condition)

wa so many things hor
i bought all these on impulse wtf !!!!

and i'm selling for RM 150 only ok.............
i bought them for duno how much la, u can see how spoilt i am. eh very nice ler buy la wtf. 1st time selling stuff so weird and shy wtf !!!! eh ask ur friend to come and buy ok.
one set only.
one good deal only.
1st come 1st serve (lik so many ppl really want it wtf)
no bidding (lik edi got alot ppl fighting for it wtf)

yea........ so this is my darkest secret la.
i cannot forgive myself for spending money lik this. sorry mom i sin.

hola i'm sorry

2008-09-26T16:17:00.002+08:00

wa !!! ok long time nv update edi. weird babe soh nv shouted update this time.
mayb she die heart edi wtf AHHAHAHHAHA
ok so how am i doing.
i'm sick. so rare ok. and i lost my voice !!! damn sexy, i talked alot ytd in college, HAHAHAHAHA so fun talking wit voice lik this. but faster recover la, i dun wan forever wit voice lik this ler. pls pls. thank u. and i cough till shit oso gonna drop out anytime lik dat.
damn san fu can.
i think i dun have much thing to update everyone.
cz my life damn boring one.
revolve around the boyfriend only.
OH OH i went one u myself the other day.
sigh, haven done so in ages lor, since i have the boifriend, too manja edi
yea i know someone (soh) would say i have no life edi
and i'm the one to be blamed afterall !!!!
eh i improved edi ok........ i dumped bf and den hor went hor to hor LANGKAWI wit u all ma right wtf. one time only wtf !! hahahahhahaha
ok la.............
this raya i'm gonna dump my 3 best buddies here and fly to hk edi.
hope they have fun yo.
and forget me not !!!!! when u happily chewing ur food rmb me ok.
ok dat's it !!!
wa....... no now only friday, so fast asking ppl to miss me edi. wtf !!!!!
ok la... in case i din update la ok.
-the end-

it feels so bad when u drank too much

2008-09-14T12:28:00.002+08:00

ok so went Luna Bar in town with a whole bunch of people where 60% of them i duno.
farewell with the host whom i'm not really close with.
seriously talking, i met him at most 3 itmes but i'm amazed by the passion he has towards my boifriend wtf. so obviously i was there becoz my bf is invited la.
i drank so much that i tot i was out.
the feeling is so bad that i couldn't even possibly described through words
cz u see har, my english is very limited excess.
and i dun wanna learn DOWNYANG plagarised other ppl's stuff
and i'm so sick of the citation yo wtf.
enough said, i was too sick until the boyfriend removed make up for me hahahahahhahaha
so memalukan i'm not a good drinker arhhh......
and my pee stinks !!! yucks.
hohohoho....
pictures later if i feel like it wtf. so sian.

i'm back with something

2008-09-13T01:12:00.002+08:00

hey i confirm going to HK already yay/no yay.
duno happy anot, cz following william's family.... lik so awkward. ppl family trip and i alwyas tag along.... den cannot simply kiss when i feel lik kissing him, sigh cannot simply throw tantrum cz later the parents tot i really bully their son how? i alone one ler, they all have power of the whole Ng family lor. hehehehe.
those company really pandai, hike up price during super peak season hor.
one freaking 5D4N stay cost 2300 bucks sigh i wanna faint.
i really dun wanna go.
becoz if i wanna pay for the trip, it's so not worth it, if i no need to pay, i damn pai seh.
i'm not showing off la, but the bf insisted i should follow, the way he said was lik i'm not an outsider so i dun hav to worry abt all those unecessaries.
sigh.... he is being insensitive la.
he is nv in my shoes so he wouldn't unerstand i guess.
but i really appreciate him talking like dat, cz makes me feel very warmth. but he could nv understand wat others think of me, in his eyes, even if i farted and stink lik shit, he wouldn't tell others and laugh at me.
he said he would sponsor me everything. i dun hav to spend a single cent.
his company sponsor my travel fare, and he sponsors my shopping.
.............. how can u not melt u tell me.
he is the bestest !!!
BUT how can u spend money from someone so good lik dat ?
u see har, if u spend someone's money other than mom's it's weird.
lik kek kek dei..... dare not to buy so much.
so pretty but over price dare not say want......
sigh ...... i duno
i appreciate his offer la really... but ...
sigh nvm ...
duno a.......................... talk lik dat lik showing off
den would get respond lik, offer to u ma good la, still wan complain wat oso duno wtf
the feeling i'm trying to say is lik ......... pai seh.... but proud la... i duno too complicated i guess
aiya nvm la.

eh i wan oso !!!

2008-09-10T13:12:00.002+08:00

list 10 sweet things ma right ?!
1. errrrrrrrrrrrr....... bought me flower when 1st time celebrating my birthday (died 5 days later) gave me the watch that he likes (he thinks it's pretty)
2. ermmm ...................................... brought me to korea. cz company got free trip. better than nth ma i know i know hehehehehhehe.
3. hold my hand, insisted to hold me in his arm when movie super sweet, but make me have sore neck.
4. i cried when movie has touching scene. he wiped away my tear, and the mascara !!!!
5. hurt me while playing, sometimes v wrestling.
6. banged my braces
7. bring me to badminton and then play with other ppl
8. i sick he went snooker with his friends after i pretended to be asleep.
9. obey every single words the mother said
e.g. belle said " we should buy a house",
william silent, "hmmmm...."
mom said" you should buy a house for future",
william then told belle "we should plan to buy a house"
........ belle ponder, whether should cheer in tear or simply cry.

10. nv smoke in front of his parents/family members. wiling to reveal true self in front of me.

did it sounds more lik 10 sour things ?
huh...... i tried so hard but cannot think of any sweet thing now wtf ?!
how man i panic edi eh !!!!!!
ok ok update later if i think of anything.

patched back

2008-09-08T13:12:00.002+08:00

as you can see the pretty gf appeared.

hehehehehhehehhe so u know wat happen eh.

the problem was, she was busy, nobody expected her to be there, but duno who insisted she must be there. so, everybody waited her for sometime.

and the best part is, when she came, it was lik she doesn't know everyone.

she made the "zhu gok" waited her, but no apology.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

she is best at when someone has already told her wat should she do, and she called another person. asking exactly the same thing, and claim she doesn't know anyting abt dat.

to me. super wtf.

ok anyway, happy birthday ck.

HELLO everyone !!!

2008-09-04T21:04:00.002+08:00

been a few days since i last blogged ?
din do much thing, and then holiday just ended lik that.
great lo.
wasted my young life.
sigh, hopefuly when i grow older, i won't slap myself and regret for the way i wasted my young life lo. went pd for holiday and hurt my righty foot when playing futsal with the males.
sigh y is my life so sad. hahahahha but the game was fun la, my 1st attempt for soccer and i goal twice wtf ?! hahhahhaha so pandai can
ok so i'm trying to evolve my blog la, at least i uploaded the 1st ever picture right.
sigh but i'm a low low low tech person, i duno how to edit the layout and all, tried once for the stoopid multiply and it looks lik shit now, worse than the original one ok damn kesian.
ok 310 and 312 i damn scared ok.
sigh ....... pls pls pls lemme pass.
D i oso dun mind already please.

juicy is such disappointment.

2008-08-28T20:41:00.003+08:00

sigh.

looks so pretty here but then actually.................

so ugly one.
selling on9 for US$ 178 and then it's actually RM2 K in the store wtf ?!
eat urself.

no...... it's actually nice. but den so expensive ohw to buy wtf !!!!!!!!!!!

why do i love my boifriend wtf

2008-08-25T15:20:00.002+08:00

i'm sorry if it bothers you, whoever reading this hehehehe.
ok so ppl around me knows my boifriend is the ultimate william.
he is by far the best man i've ever met in life. except smoking and hyper active outings la ha :P
so i will cut the bushes and not mentioning how v met and then fall in love that kinda thing la
in these days and months and years that we have been together, he always try to entertain me even if my behavior/words threaten his superb man ego.
he tolarates at his best with me.
he let me humiliate him and return me with warm hugs and kisses because he simply knows i din mean it.
he encourages me although he doesn't know which is the best word to use. even he only knows to tell me nvm you have already tried your best.
he would da bao BR for me when i'm burning mid night oils and throw tantrum at him, becasue he knows i need something to cool me down inside.
he would hug me with joys and hold me with shaking hands when i gave him surprises :)
he would never refuse to bring me anywhere i wanted to go.
he would bring me to eat food i crave, even it's sushi for 3 days at a roll.
he said when i sucessfully lose weight, with slim arms and all, he would buy me BCBG dresses.... each piece cost above 1K ok. sigh, where on earth can i find a bf like this ?
each lil things he has done for me, i kept in heart.
there are of course so many more that i could not possibly completely include
there are so many reasons for me to love him .... but only 2 for me to get angry at him.
sigh, ok this post is for me to remind myself whenever i get angry at him ok.

sigh i love my boifriend wtf.

my boifriend is so cute sigh.

2008-08-25T12:41:00.003+08:00

how can i not in love with him you tell me huh wtf hahahahhaha

that missy tiffernie sorh should be on her way to Bali edi.... wonderful journey, wish u have one there hoho. meet hot beach boys there k. oh mayb hot rich boys wtf.

ok update when i want to again. muuah ~

i love my boifriend wtf.

all about myself

2008-08-23T15:35:00.002+08:00

hehehehhehe... been so bored, so thinking to talk about something quite private.
...... my right armpit always gets itchy easily i don't know y.
i'm craving for korean fried rice cake and sushi and soba these days.
wuuuuuuuuu.....
yea basically i'm a monster who eat 12/h a day wtf

HAPPY WOMAN !!!

2008-08-22T13:55:00.002+08:00

yeah i'm a happy woman !!!
because, the sun is bright today :)
phasionollgy has live views damn professional summore wtf !!! michelle is the bomb !!!
or may it's eugene ???? my god, thy make the perfect couple !!!!
huhuhuhuhuhu....
i'm a happy woman, simply because i am so contented !

being yourself

2008-08-21T12:35:00.003+08:00

is the hardest thing to do. because, it might makes ppl hate you, gossiping abt you and etc.
being ownself, is the most selfish thing one could ever do, i think.
selfish is human instict i think.
is it only me that being a pessimistic about human being and have no hopes upon them, even to myself ?
when you expose urself truely to someone, do they appreciate you being honest, or they would only focus on the ugly side you've shown ?
and that's the hardest thing on earth when dealing with people.
because they simply don't think like you do.
so, nvm :) why bother ?
just being sweet and they whole world would like you.
just being weak and the world would protect you.
just being quiet and people would not have anything to talk abt you.
so why bother being yourself ?
it's something that makes you look ugly.
oh well... mayb just after a while of pretending, you manage to convinve yourself that u r one person like that?
then it's not pretending anymore?
wtf i think i chi sin edi.
hmm ....... yeah, just start with laughing with hand covering mouth wtf.

untittled

2008-08-19T15:34:00.002+08:00

so all the while, i'm not that type of person who would blog abt what i've been through the whole day etc etc etc.
e.g. OH today i went shopping with tha boifriend, and we held hands lor, then we sweet sweet lo, then suddenly OH MY GOD the prettiest pieve of top juz popep in front of me, i was giddy of the beautiful design and you just won't believe how well it fitted on me wtf.
ohhhh.... i need to save money, so i told tha boyfriend, no i was not suppose to buy it, then my boyfriend hor, so sweet insisted i should buy, so i was convinced, at the cashier there hor, he took out his wallet and flipped out his credit card, OH MY GOD, it's a black card wtf. but i said i had to pay myself, but he just didn't let me.
aww i have the best boifriend in the whole wide world.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
this is enough for me to slap myself edi.
i'm so freaking siannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
i should just go kill myself.
ok so i hav been thinking why ar i don't blog about all these, mayb i think it's not memorable ? oh on a second thought, no i don't think so.
mayb i just duno how to blog abt this thing, and sometimes i might have trigger different response from dfferent ppl, they may think i'm solely showing off if i blog abt my shopping day wtf. or others might think i'm a pathetic spoiled slut who only live for shopping.
ok ok i admit, i just don't have something special to blog abt.
my life is not happening at all :(
i've wasted good 2 months doing nth. mayb i'm afraid to face whatever that i should go and deal with it. sigh. i'm a coward. bastard.

a thick skin post.

2008-08-16T01:28:00.003+08:00

ok la i'm ASSUMING the one you talked abt is me ok hehe.
1st wai wat point, i dun rmb when do/did i ever treated you as a joker.
and that hurt me too. i've always be sincere to you, be real to you.
and for that you claimed that i treated you as a joker.
i have not treated you right ?
yeap, so i freaking scare of the dog, but still screaming yelling but go in that door for wat ?
i don't understand also.
everyone has their bad sides one ma, not like everyone is perfect also. so if i can stand you but you cannot, den aiyooo ... ur lost wtf hahahahah. ok ok sorry, serious cannot hahaha one.
So, did my "hahahahha" make ppl feel like i treated them a joker ?
sigh .... duno ler, nv listed what have i done also, mayb i perasan.
for so many times when there is unhappy thing happened, duno who was the one who took the 1st step, took the courage to talk abt the things. for wat i've rmb, majority it was I la ha, if i din rmb wrongly wtf. from the friendster LONG LONG msg, to face to face apologies...
at least i apologised ma... hor, sincerely one. at least i din pretend lik nth happen but den secretly angry and acted cool wtf.
at least i din hide. i think u're not right den i say la. den if i think i wrong i apologise la.
but den again, yea, everyone has different characteristic lo, mayb it's not you to apologise to ppl.
right right. but den when i apologise with "hahahha" doesn't mean i treated you as joker ma
i got ego also one, but den i have to surpressed it, so i use "hahahha" to ease my gan zeong-ness lor.
all the while i think, i'm older, i should take care of you, i don't know y also, but you r one smart girl, there is nth much for me to worry abt u.
i don't know lor, but after all the days that we have known each other, how i have treated you, good and bad, and den now u said u pretend to be listening to me. that's the hardest thing i've heard. just like if william said "i don't love you anymore" wtf !!! wanna cry edi.
hmmm, if you feel lik that den just forget abt it la.
let's just be friends lor.
it's ok, bearing ppl's secret is difficult also. it's ok for you to let it to someone else :)
knowing me 3 years, u know i fucking hate ppl pretending in front of me.
i don't wanna hate you. so you don't have to pretend that you're listening.
you take one step back.
i won't force you one.
ok la, conclusion is.
i can never be good friends with female izit ? wtf. ok so girls out there, say hi to me and i will say bye to you ok ?

ok, looking at this whole case from another point of view (childishly):
i just jokingly ask you to take cab den you angry and dun wan friend me edi la
den it's true ma, date vm got car, date me don't have, i nv lie also wtf.
so now u got car den dun wan me edi la wtf.
oh oh, den i edi told u i'm ok, sincerely offer to send u
u don't wan, den acted damn cool also (as in not lik ur usual way la)
not lik i'm gonna beg you to get in my car ma right ? or u really want it wtf?
erm.... ok la sorry, i abit confused wit myself edi.

eh eh ok, so if it's not me, den i replyon behalf of your friend la wtf
HAHAHAHAHHAA...
eh ok ok i'm not suppose to hahaha.
eh, sincere post.
it's 1.46 am now ok.
yea........ so y did i post it here a?
oh yea, scare u fall aslept edi, u know u will still answer phone even u're asleep, and den let ppl disturb u one. dun wan la i pai seh.
den, err... i think i dun feel lik talking to you face to face la abt this matter.
mayb it will be easier for you. to talk all things out.
oh ok, this post i damn careful wtf. 1st time double checked wat i wrote.
ok ok 2 am edi !!! yawn ~~

hello bloggie

2008-08-10T04:03:00.002+08:00

sigh, dear blog, your existance is so insignificant.
so uninteresting.
so boring.

it's 4 am !!!! i can't beleive i can stay awake longer during holidays.
sigh, y i do not have this kinda stamina when i was suppose to burn for the exams huh y oh y ar
i'm sucha failure ok.
ok talking abt me, i'm a sucker. total sucker, i think i will never do what i have planned. or wanted to.
eg. yea part time job for this blerdy long holidays.
i spent time playing wii, online for nothing, eating like food is free, and then i duno. probably day dreaming unconciously.

ok, so i'm a sucker.
i can't sleep, i have nothing to do.
my life is so boring until suspected depression wtf. aww !!!!! so sad wei belle.
i'm noting this down, so for the next 10 years i can see if still pathetic or not.
ok i'm running out of the points now, wat am i saying again ?
i duno !!!
i'm crapping !!!!!!!!! ok this is gonna be a rubbish post.
well ..... right, erm.... ok phasionology seems to do well now. from the purchasers' point of view, our clothes are safe, nth too trendy too weird, just nice. hehehehhheheh. it's so funny it's like v r shopping for ourselves whenever v restock. fun !! shop and buy den others pay you back, with extra tips whahahhaha muacks, love you ppl ! visit more ok
duno how to do the link but: phasionology.blogspot.com

Michelle is the bomb baby !!!!! she is by far the most artistic person i've ever met.
literally artistic and PRODUCE beautiful stuffs, not like forcing ppl to say their thing nice dat kinda geng you know.....
oh there is something i wanna blog about, rmb cindy the MDG, i used to like hate her so much becz i think she was like damn fake and xiao jie. like someone i know.
but den after i read her blog, well, i think i begin to change my mind, hmmm duno if it's being convinced or wat la...
everyone sure has their bitchy side, evil side. agree.
it just depends on how you wanna reveal it, whom you wanna kena.
and the capacity of ablity to be bombarded by all the comments from ppl around.
both that you know and you don't know.
all the while i think i'm brave enough to voice out wat i think, but guess it's not like that afterall.
in this blerdy real world, you would have to conceal your words ..........
and being 2 faces.
if that makes everyone happy, y not ?
i don't know.... i'm really shocked at what i think sometimes.
life is so difficult.
dealing with ppl .... the hardest maybe ?
oh no, mayb it's raising the child wtf.
that would be another topic to talk abt.

for now, i really hate kids.
like a lot.
they are. freaking. annoying.
the end.
oh ok not yet, and then i start to ponder, am i the bad person afterall, i stand for wat i think it's right, and stand up for ppl whom i think they are right, voice out for them, but in the end, others would think i'm mainly responsible for it, because i voiced wtf.
and when ppl started blaming, those that i stand for suddenly become neutral.
then i'm all alone, like i were the only one being furious from the beginning.
so, y being stupid.
just shut the fuck up and be a puppy belle, puppy is no harmful, go wit watery eyes, so even if you bite some John Stuarts shoes they won't ask for compensation also.
because, puppy is no harmful.
not purposely one, just teeth itchy. nth. puppy ma adorable fuck.
wa y suddenly i'm so aggressive.
ok i should not, i'm a puppy.
say no evil !!! *no evil*

i am beautiful

2008-07-21T14:33:00.002+08:00

i wish.

fuhlamak !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! y is my holiday lik this one.
make me feel so freaking feel lik a piece of shit. useless. worthless.
y am i so negative lik this.
i am becoming so random.
and i'm so worry that this might interfere with my acedemic performance already

SO how does this this theory apply
oh then maybe i would answer by saying that "when i've become more beautiful then i will have answer to this"
ok now i don't know how did i get to this point.

i'm so bored.
boifriend's sick
den i have no life already ?! WTF Y AM I SO SAD
i think i sort of have the idea of y am i behaving lis this
i'm so traditional, i am so lik my mom
u see, when my mom married to my Mr. Chia and become Mrs.Chia at the most beautiful age of 21 oh wait mayb only 20 because it hadn't passed her birthday yet
YER SO YOUNG !!!!!
she stopped working and then hav to stay home and become a housewife awwwww
and den she had babies
so her whole life is juz lik dat
besides her father, her 2 brothers, her son, and den now william
i think she hasn't been really interact with other guys
HAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH
wtf mom i'm sorry did i make you sound gay
oh yea mayb some random men in market when she needs to buy things from them wtf

so i've restricted myself
and my situation is becoming worse
when you scoped down your friends circle
your scope is narrowed
and then you tend to think like a woman which is so bad to an undescripted stage.
i don't think i rely much on my bf
but i jz let him take control of everything
watever it is, i'm responsible to all of it !!!!!!!!!!
awww .... i'm sucha failure, but i can't help it

it's juz lik, when the bf sick, i would think it's so bad if i still hang out with friends or somethign
and it's nearly impossible to go out wit other guys
because den it's not loyal to him WTF AHAHAHAHAHAHHA i should be hung to death !!!!!!
HAHAHAHHAHA WTF WTF WTF I CANNOT BELIEVE WAT I JUZ TYPED
Y AM I SO OLD FASHION LIKE AN AH MA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahahahhahahahhahahaha
ok i shall not continue ashame myself here
i think afterall i'm juz lazy to ask somone out.

ok tmr is the day !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
waited for one good week

i'm so sian

2008-07-17T22:56:00.003+08:00

so fucking sian that i wanna throw tantrum at everyone

i should get a part time job.

a note for my special someone: i feel lik i've spend my half life waiting for you.
and you spend your whole life having fun like a kid.

why am i becoming so shallow and vulgar.... hate to admit, but yea more stupid too

it's all chaos out there, advise is not to go KL
block and jamming everywhere
because of the politics scaldals
Malaysia, is a blessed country, free of almost all kind of natural disaster despite the unfortune tsunami and all.
but why the politicans wanna make things so ugly
and fuck them all they said just so don't make sense at all
i'm not specifying anyone unless you wanna admit and yea HANDCUFF ME fuck you
so annoying lor.
stop playing with the anal game la.
even if he did so wat !
you scare he will play your backside so catch him b4 he does izit wtf damn annoying

there were so many break in cases happen in my neighbourhood
broke into the house and stole good car at dark night.
it's locked gates mind u.
damn scary ok.
only few houses away from mine. scared.
and you don't wanna knoe how near the police station is
less than one minute drive.
wtf
HELLO POLICE
you have something better to do

hmm

2008-07-17T20:58:00.002+08:00

it's so difficult
i duno wat are we waiting for
everyone is so busy
and it seems like none can work when not all ppl are here
mayb i'm not used to waiting

everyone has different thinking
different priority
different characteristic
haven started, but i'm getting less and less passionate already
might be tired of waiting i don't know.
hope things will get better when everyone gets involve.

life crisis

2008-07-16T16:26:00.001+08:00

i'm having a crisis in life.
it's so bad that i feel likei 'm gonna die.

and i want to die.

F R I E N D S

2008-07-13T13:48:00.002+08:00

hello, this entry is here because i'm inspired by my beiber's latest entry abt friendship
i think my reply will be too long to fir the chat box so i just reply through writing a new blog entry here lo hehe

interpersonal relationship is always so complicated and it's really hard that some ppl might not master it in their entire life
some ppl are so cheapo that they don't have any friends at al.
it actually depends how you look at things
sometimes when you really are too busy until you din get to contact with some friends, it's really forgivable that they didn't ask u at the 1st place
2 possibilities
- they thought of you, but thinking you might be busy so just don't wanna make the afford
- they really forgot about you because they have been a big gang and u joined someway at the middle, for once, you all always hang out lik siaos, but then when for one time when u're busy they become the original gang again.

there are always some external factor that we are not in control.
i think.
friends, we don't need alot.
we only need some that really love us. really care of us.
but when you have such friends, don't too fussy about who take the initiative to contact who, or who would care about who 1st or stuffs like that.
if you do that, i'm sorry but u'll feel lonely forever. i think. hahah.
you must have to believe that, when you show that u're in some trouble, or u tell them
they will always... always be there for u.
everyone has their own business to be taken care of

sometimes being friends just cannot be too calculative.
and learn to accept and let go.
but some attitute that we cannot tolerate, we give up.
when they don't even care to make any afford to safe the friendship, we watch it dies.
simple.
but it's always easier to say than done.
friends, are memang a complicated issue to deal with.

wtf make me emo oso
wanted to chill ppl somemore wtf
cis.

fucking act cute

2008-07-11T05:20:00.001+08:00

i fucking cannot stand ppl acting cute lor.
STOP THE PEACE SIGN ALREADY !!!!

YEW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the world changed !!!

what are those young ppl thinking now arh ?! god i should use my fertility wisely.

ZOE YAP

2008-07-10T17:59:00.003+08:00

for so long so long that i wanted to dedicate a post to you
but i shy
it's very reluctant for me to tell ppl how i get started with my bf
becoz somehow i feel sorry to you
... it's like... i've taken something from you, i beleive that was what ppl thought as well, and so do you. though you have never disclosed to me, but i know how much you hated me
but i can't ... i can't hide my curiousity abt you
in my eyes you are pretty
in my ears, you are a bitch
in my mind, i feel bad abt u
in my heart, i am so jealous of u
i know in his heart u can't even compete wit me bcoz u know y
and i dun wanna mentioned what u did to him
it's so funny when i read from your blog that how u nv intended to hurt anyone lik dat
lik what u said, big fat wat wat story tale lie (wa u memang lik to show off ur english)
u're definitely a person full of lies.
i do not like you. because i'm so jealousy lik that.

and yea i'm so idiotic to post up something like this.
but i cannot keep this in my heart.
ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
i blame this all on the exam stess.
cis.

i'm a god damned procastinator

2008-07-10T17:58:00.001+08:00

and i hate myself for being one lik dat.

Stalker

2008-07-07T00:28:00.002+08:00

man oh man, i can be a real good stalker ain't i
i don't know if ppl around me realise this crazy thing abt me
but i'm so obsessed with pretty things... including people. yes people.
when i spotted pretty person, i would really look straight to them, spot them whenever i think thye have chances to be there and so...
and i would really admire them... huhuhu... damn stoopid yeap.
but i can't help it.
u see, i said i chase after the ultimate beauty. i love to see pretty thing coz i couldn't see it in me.
..... PATHETIC LA yeayeayea......

i don't think i could get rid of this crazy bit of mine in a short while, if not forever hehe
i have damn skin now, y the jits just couldn't get lost already !!!!!
grrrrr damn irritating, they have been with me for over 2 years u see.... 2 years ok.
i have enough !!!!!!!!!!!!! get off !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
damn sad looking at my face
sian already when ppl around keep asking wat happned to ur face, ur skin used to be so nice wan... huhuhu... yea stop digging my pain, i duno wat happened too. thanks for ur concerns
low self esteem
i feel lik i have nth now... i mean in me la
u see, gained weight, i think i'm becoming a 60 kg monster wtf !!!!!
and yes the damn face
and where is the brain. ppl who failed the mid term shit, bad bad feeling bad feeling pls dun fail me for the grade pls.... pls... nv feel so worry b4, cz i don't wanna take the same subject and go through the same damn torture again pls
oh yea tmr final wat am i doing here i duno wtf

hmm ... yea i think i'm PMS-ing...
is dat y i got into constant fight with the boifriend ?
poor thing, i'm so sorry ... i know u're not reading this, but i'm sorry i feel so bad for u lar dump me pls. no i'm kidding.
ok i think i'm having pre-exam stress
pre-exam stress plus pms plus pissing about the skin problem and den worry abot the weight
........ god am i gonna die soon ? i can't take dat much burden

wtf me... ok i'm being so pointless
some good thing...
my college babes are the ones i should really appreciate... they r so cute
and i really really hope they would still be the same after ten years
i don't wan it to be lik 2 years later when they contact me again
"Belle, interested in buying insur?" .............. ARH annoying...
dat might happen, cz someone else did dat already, direct sale, wanted to earn quick money eh.
hopefully they could succeed la... but too bad i'm not supporting.

sigh there are just alot of things i feel lik talking suddenly...
but i can't, gotta go back to do the damn revision.
cis.
good luck everyone.
hugs ~

someone

2008-07-03T16:28:00.002+08:00

i have very low sense of security feeling.
sometimes i would feel that the conenction is not there with my close ones.......
i only need.... someone who would make me feel that i'm so precious and important to them

and now i'm all alone again
i can only blame noone but myself for that.

hello here i am again

2008-06-30T18:45:00.002+08:00

ok not sure what to blog about, juz stuck with my work and try to release some stress by typing here as in i'm doing work also.

ok random thing: the boifriend started with facebook, yeap, after so long like it's gonna outdated already hoho. and then he has a fluff friend, cow, named after FAT FAT wtf, damn cute ok my boifriend. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ... miss him already :(
sigh now tonight and tmr will be the toughest moment, assignment due b4 12 and presentation at 10, meeting at 8. how can i finish them u tell me i duno !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok bye bye cis.

memorable !

2008-06-29T13:09:00.002+08:00

actually i don't know what do i have atitle for my everyt blog entry.
as u can see, everytime when i blog till half way, what am i gonna talk about is llike differed so far away from the topic already.
but nuff said !
TODAY, THE SUNDAY, THE 29th of JUNE 2008 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
beibeh picked me up and v went makan together !

awwwwwwwwwwwwwww ~ i love her :)
AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA

my English my college my lecturer

2008-06-25T21:29:00.003+08:00

is so bad until it interferes with my ability to understand what ppl were saying.

....... so bad ! omg, i swear i'm gonna so improve my english.
............... no la i mean i will try ... hehe

i'm so gonna blog about this so that i would still rmb this red-hair after 20 years, he probably won't be in this world anymore... Dr. FULTON ~~
fuiyo this professor of mine, damn geng. i don't know, but he is the 1st western lecturer that v have in 3 years of studying in HELP. he just couldn't suit in our acedemic system... and making sucha big fuss abt it... he is damn cool, talking lik a kid, i was so fascinated when babe said how he blamed on the timing of meeting him the other day... seriously, hiding behind the culture difference is much more better than the BAD TIMING ok...
lik so wtf
conversation went like this

"But sir, when v discussed with you the other day, you said it was alright"
"when did v meet?"
"last friday"
"oh.... friday what time?"
"11.30 (p.m), sir"

.............................................................. "oh, that was a bad time."

W T F !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
u damn cool ok.
i have a really bad feeling about this semester
i'm so gonna fail the 2 subjects with Fulton.
i'm so F' screwed !!!! cannot graduate edi la lik dat !!!!!
always sit home wait parents feed mer !!!!!!
my daddy and mommy sayang me lik princess ok.... i really want them to feel lik king and queen....

too shy to tell them in real life..........

hehehe... dad and mom... i love u. muackz, muackz.

been staying in college till so late recently, a pretty good experience, walking from block E to mainblock, cz no more free bus haha
friends like 'em are so nice .......................
i like being with them.

random: angel r so angel !!!!!!!!!!!!! i like !! hahahahahahahhahahahah wtf belle u wtf !

i don't understand

2008-06-19T12:52:00.002+08:00

stress stress stress and stress
tha't all i can describe about my life now
3rd year of studying is definitely not easy to me.
why am i here, i'm suppose to be doing the gok dam assignment, comparing the APA codes and APS codes of ethics.
i'm suppose to know 'em so well that i could sue the stupid authority someday izit.
i'm so exhausted
the more i study i more i blame on my stupidity
i'm becoming so stupid that i don't understand what i'm suppose to do
i don't understand what am i studying.
Dr. Fulton, i will defitely remember you. because i made me feel lik i have been truly studying on my own ~ is that the culture you're from ? you solely blame all your unprepareness to... not your area of expertise ? well then you can just don't accpet the job at the 1st place if you think it is not your area of expertise don't cha ?!
it's so funny cause you talk lik a 15 years old boy.
you are making everyone walking around the bush and back to the origin.
but thank gok, i have great members. they are so helpful and smart.
i'm stupid ? nvm ! i have 'em to help me and of course that motivates me even more to try my very best and work up to their expectation.
but one thing working with smart ppl is not easy becaue i feel inferior so easily.
i hate myself. cis.
i think i would make a good stalker, been stalking someone for long.
which make me hate myself even more.
Belle, look wider. further. wiser.

it is so embarrassing that i broke into tears in college ytd. *KIMCHI !!*
and i shall remember what they said to me.
anything happen, they will be there.

makes me wanna cry even more.
i love 'em.
and my boifriend.
y am i so weak. cis.

ok back to work byebye.

my ultimate goal

2008-06-12T22:04:00.002+08:00

my ultimate goal is to become slim and to look pretty
just in case you don't know, i am definitely not a born beauty.
i was fugly back in primary school until form 3.
why ?
because my BMI was blardy high, 30 maybe ? i don't know. heheh.
it's so fat until the big bros will bully me, friends will ostritcize me, parents will ask me not to eat so much anymore. wtf... damn cruel. hahaha.
but that's life.
don't judge book from it's cover ?
beauty is not important ?
no, they are so not true, people wouldn't wanna beleive that an angelic looking girl is a biatch
but when they see a girl with ugly face and is a biatch, they would hate her more easily.
sigh.
too cruel to be true.
makes me so emo because reminds me of the past wtf hahahaha
and what have i been working to approach my ultimate goal ?
constantly eating !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm a serious stress eater, i need counseling !!!

ok no mood bye bye cis.

omg i duno how

2008-06-10T23:31:00.002+08:00

met up with Joe and Gil the sweet couple today after tut.
sigh, so sweet la looking how they interact with each other, reminds me of how the boifriend and i used to be. sigh i missed those PDA times..... now it's lik a plain, tasteless couple edi
so sad la ...

talking with them is so inspiring... how the relationship should go...
everyone has different expectation when they are involve in a relationship right.
it's so difficult to just find a soulmate that could fulfilled everything that you would look for in a person.
so hard. so difficult.
read through a few blogs... wa the language they used is like so geng !
cannot... must update myself edi.
with the voucher i won from poster defense, (Jan 2008, 303 REBT). gonna buy a fiction and read lik mad !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
spend less time on9 and just read !
sigh .......................... belle...... it's time to upgrade yourself and downgrade your weight already

thank you bye bye. cis.

dilemma

2008-06-01T22:32:00.002+08:00

i'm always in love hate relationship wit myself, seriously.
why so ?
i love my life because it is surrounded with so many lovely ppl !!!
they really love me unconditionally !!!
they still stay with me despite my super hot temper and sudden mood-less stage !!!
and they have been spending alot alot alot alot of $$$ on me, which make me feel so hang fuk but at the same time very guilty.
that's why i am so determined to work during my 6 weeks holiday !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i duno... i jz feel lik earning abit to cover up my expenses.
sigh you have no idead how much i've spent over the half year....
siao i tell u
siao !!!!!!!!!
i'm spending lik i were a millionaire !!!!!!!!!! which is an extremely BAD BAD THING
bad belle
bad !!!!!!!!!

so that's how i started to hate myself u see
i'm constantly lazy and self concious !
assignments ? bah !
mid term ? no fuck
.................................. i'm so chilling ! which is another exterme bad bad thing !!!!!

i duno... i guess for now, all i can do is to pray ! pray really really hard that i have luck to pass all the tests with flying colors !
ok ?!
pls ?!

please please pretty please hu huh uhu huh u

the end cis.

Sian-ness

2008-05-10T12:05:00.002+08:00

holiday blues holiday blues holiday blue !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
omg i'm so freaking bored and i am feeling extremely guilty
becoz i'm suppose to finish my thesis by now but den i actually haven really started ... it's jz alot of paragraph which haven been compiled and arranged properly T.T
y am i so freaking lazy i duno !!!!!!! arh ! i hate myself hate psychology hate everything besides my boifriend and friends and clothes and cash and food .............

huuuuu .... sorry, luckily i have none reader yet.
i'm so frustrated so have to let out abit of frustration here.
sigh sometimes i do think dat i'm the one who mess up my own life.
no one to blame, and i constantly feel lik giving up in studying, which i beleive my mom will kill me and slaughter me !!!!!!!!!!!!

wuwuwuwuwwuuu.... seriuosly feel lik banging head to the wall and jz faint lik dat, den the fairy pity me so grant me a wish......... den i would say i wanna be pretty and slim forever
wtf i am so shallow lik dat one la i duno y.

well ok ok think properly, wat do i want in life ?
my mom always says dat, be a girl/woman, most important thing in life is to marry to a good man ( @&(#(@*(#@&#(*@ i know damn sexist)
if u married to a useless man, den u're gone lik dat liao. (yor y la my lappie so damn lag)
so that's the point, i'm conditioned and being educated since young dat i need to find a good husband. and my mom only started to told me dat female is better to have their own career and dun rely on man too much, but huhuhu dat's already too late. sigh, wat to do i'm so farking lazy and i have a super good bf. i'm so spoilt !!!!!!!

ok ok ok .... enough said, thesis on !!!!

MDG sucks big time

2008-04-24T13:10:00.002+08:00

sigh... the only thing that attracts me to keep on watch every last part of each episode is to see who got voted out !
MODEL SEARCH ? dun post it on the internet la cz u know ppl from out there could watch it as well... dun ashame Mas ok. this is not a model search ok !!!!
it's jz trying to copy some famous tv show lik american idol and all ok. and it's not FAIR at all
i wish my dad is as rich la, so that i could also win the MDG and a car lik Cindy does lo (oh not lik she's gonna win right, it's jz top 3, choi choi choi)
arh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cannot stand this show anymore !
i'm gonna stop watching edi.
i duno if she's a model material ok
even Jay got sent home ?! like... HELLO ?!
she is the only one qualified ok. Adeline is not bad but she doesn't know how to look good in front of camera so that sucks another big time.
i'm so geram la
cz i personally know someone lik Cindy
so i really dun like dun like dun like dun like someone lik dat !!!!!!
mayb i'm too conservative
the one who is trying to hint that she's a virgin (save the sex for marriage)
would stay in a hotel suite wit ONLY ONE DOUBLE BED ROOM
WIT A GUY FRIENDS ? and holding him sticking him leaning on him lik he is a bf and den afterwards told the whole wide world that HE IS NOT MY BF
.... which made things even worse
ARH
not slutty mer lik dat ?
hey i used to be really good in flirting around one, i oso think this is way too much
oh most probably i nv think of this tactic la, wtf i'm a loser ! BOO

CONCLUSION,
MDG, waste of time. dun vote la, waste money only.

sigh i dun wanna be a bitch, but i'm born lik that.